What is your "why"?

Have you ever done something that you thought was going to be great that didn't go as planned? The end result wasn't what you had hoped for. Or, maybe you just realized you just didn't like doing it. There is a good chance that it is just something that doesn't support your "why" ... your purpose.

As the owner of a small business, others often suggest services we could or should offer in addition to what we do currently. Some of the ideas are great and I do consider them. But, what always makes my decision for me is the answer to this question...

Does this service support our "why"?

Hire A Housewife exists to make a positive difference in people's lives through both our services and our personal connections in ways that other companies can not.

I knew from the beginning that we could do that through cleaning, organizing, running errands, and taking care of other things for clients in order for them to spend their time the way they want to spend it.

Along the way I've shared my story and other encouragement with our clients and really anyone who
would listen, hoping to continue to make that difference.

Late last year I realized that we could also make a positive impact on lives by giving others lessons on cleaning and organizing. This is why I started the "Love Where You Live" program.

This past month I took on a new project. It was something we had never done before. But I was more than willing to try because I knew it would help a good friend. So, Hire A Housewife sorted through several generations of items, decided what should be donated, what should be sold, and what the family might want to keep. Then we ran our first estate sale.

We learned a lot from that sale. The number one thing we learned? Hire A Housewife doesn't run estate sales. Setting up tables, researching, determining monetary value, pricing, and holding a sale... just didn't go well for us.

If you ask the client, she will say nothing but good things about what we did. We made a huge impact for her family. And yet, by the time we were done, I knew it was something I wouldn't do again. The answer why was quickly obvious to me. There are many estate sale companies in the area. That isn't the part of it that made the impact.

Estate sales don't support our "why," but a part of what we did for them does... 

Photo taken by Clifford Braden during WWII What treasure might be hiding in your family's home?

It was the careful sorting through boxes that would have likely ended up in the trash, pulling out things of value, sentimental as well as monetary.

It was saving WWII memorabilia from a grandfather and uncle so that they could be treasured by family.

It was contacting a friend with the Peoria Historical Society and, with the family's permission, taking all the snapshots from that family member's time at war to be digitally archived and preserved before returning them to the family.

It was hugging my friend through her tears as she saw the progress and realized what they might have lost had we not sorted through everything in the house.

A positive impact, on an entire family, that will be felt for generations. 

That is definitely part of our why.

So in addition to asking you what your "why" is today, I want to let you know that if you have a project that you don't have the time or energy for (emotional or physical either one!) give us a call and let us help you out.

You get the best results from someone when the service they are performing supports their why.

So, here's the question... we've told you ours. What is YOUR why?

God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. 

Use them well to serve one another.

~1 Peter 4:10

Stop believing the lies

I wrote a very long comment on WCIC's blog post about decluttering and then realized that I should turn it into a post of my own. Here it is, slightly edited.

Every week I meet new overwhelmed clients who have hired me to walk through their home with them and teach them how to conquer their clutter. I break everything down for them into baby steps and teach them how to get through it themselves.

Every time, I learn the build-up has much less to do with the stuff... and much more to do with
what's going on inside the person I'm there to help. 

Decluttering is amazingly freeing, but you will need to do it all again and again if you don't figure out your whys. In business, your "why" is the reason you do what you do. In clutter, your whys are the lies you tell yourself to make you think keeping the stuff is worth it.

Have you heard some of these before?

I should get rid of this but...
... it was so expensive it would be wasteful to get rid of it.
... someone else might be able to use it.
... I might need it again someday.
... my friend who gave it to me would be upset if she knew I didn't keep it.

And those are just the little lies.

Underlying those are much bigger lies... many of which we don't even realize we believe.

God isn't really my provider.
         (If He was, why would you save so much for "just in case?")
This is how I've always lived. I can't change.
          (How many times a week do you say that to yourself?)
We can't have nice things.
          (If you believe that, you'll make sure it's true.)

I could do a whole book on the lies we tell ourselves if I got started!

The power of life and death is in the tongue and faith comes by hearing. Put those verses together and it tells you that faith is voice activated! What you hear yourself say, you will believe. Say these things to yourself out loud today any time you think about any of those lies:

     I can learn to be organized. I don't need so much stuff.

     I deserve to live with the peace of mind that comes from a clean and organized house.

     God is my provider and I don't need to fret about what I may or may not need in the future.

     God is going to use my decluttering to bless others!

Not sure how that last one is possible? Read on...

As I was helping a client a few months ago through our "Love Where You Live" program, we came across a stack of pants. Brand new, with tags, in a size that the client never intends to wear again and is not a common size to begin with.

There were a lot of lies she could have told herself to make herself keep them. "They were expensive, maybe it isn't too late to return them." or "I might come across someone who can use them." or any number of others.

Instead she chose to donate them, along with a lot of other clothes. As I was driving the bags to Redeemer Lutheran to donate to Single Mom's Morning Out, I remembered the pants and started to tear up. It just hit me.

I don't know what single mom out there needed nice work slacks in a size 18 Tall, but God had already provided them and she had no idea that they were waiting for her that morning. Because one person didn't believe the lies, another person received a blessing.

Stop believing the lies that are holding you back!

You CAN Love Where You Live!

As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.
~Proverbs 23:7

Love Where You Live Updates and Giveaway!

Since the Love Where You Live program was introduced earlier this year, some changes and updates have been implemented. Here is a rundown of how it works, followed by a giveaway offer!

Love Where You Live helps you get your home more organized and keep it that way! We are already helping people in the area make progress with their homes!

With Love Where You Live, Hire A Housewife owner, Kindall Nelson, helps you learn how to break down organizing your house into manageable steps.

Here is her description of how the program works:

When I come for your first 90-minute appointment, I'll be ready for a complete walk-through of the house to determine what needs to be done and how the work should be prioritized. As we walk through, I take both notes and "before" pictures. If there is enough time left, I will help you tackle a project while I am there. We will discuss goals and strategies for the week, and I will give you homework to complete before our next appointment.

When I return the second week, it will be with a binder that has been created with your home's plan in mind. We will discuss wins and losses for the week and also tackle a project together to help give your motivation a boost into the next week.

If there is a specific project that you need done but don't want to do yourself, we can discuss having my staff or I do that separately from our regularly scheduled appointments.

I will also haul away, or arrange to have hauled away, anything you have marked for donation during the week.

There is a minimum commitment of 4 weeks, which comes to $240.
($60 per 90 minute appointment)

Please know that while Hire A Housewife is always dedicated to guilt-free, judgement-free cleaning and organizing, this does take a commitment on your part to participate. I work hard to give you strategies that fit your life. But if you don't follow those strategies, things will not change.

I want to make a difference for you!

Now for the giveaway...

Are you ready to make some changes in your home?

Do you need someone to give you strategies and hold you accountable for those changes?

Tell me in 300 words or less why you would benefit from our Love Where You Live program and send  a couple of photos (they will not be shared) of some example areas where you would like help.
I also need your name, address, and phone number.

I will be choosing someone I believe will be committed to the program to receive 4 (FOUR) Love Where You Live appointments with me, and will announce the winner on May 16th!

Send to [email protected]

with the Subject: Love Where You Live Giveaway

Tackling the girls' room (Days 1 & 2)

When the girls came home from their dad's house, I put them to work cleaning the floor and warned them not to touch anything else... They complied. Everything was sorted into bags and boxes like I asked.

The next step was cleaning out their dressers and shelves. They got part way through on the first night, but I soon discovered the drawers on the short dresser were full of junk. Ella's answer, "I don't want to keep clothes in my dresser." (Nice try.)

By late afternoon on Day 2 (after school Tuesday) they had almost finished cleaning out the dressers and shelves.

However, I had a meeting from 6:30-8:30 on Tuesday evening and I came home to find they had jumped ahead a few steps in the process. They were going through all of the boxes that I told them not to touch without my permission.

They put most of it back, but the stacks themselves are much less organized now.

I also found a Build-A-Bear rescue had been initiated, their newest stuffed animals pulled from the garbage bags, now laying on the bed.

So what is the next step?

One bag/box/tote at a time everything from their floor is being washed, dried and put in the living room on the couch. I don't want any mass decisions made about anything. We will touch each piece of clothing and decide if it is a keep, donate, or trash item... as well as who it belongs to. You wouldn't believe how many times I said to myself when I was picking up the clothes originally, "Hey! I wondered were that shirt went..."

We probably have 4 or 5 loads to go today... and there is household laundry mixed up in this... but before I let them touch anything else on the broken bunk bed, we will decide where every piece of clothing goes. I have a feeling that will be a battle in itself. I have yard waste bags waiting to be filled to be dropped off at Mission Mart.

Even for 5 people, we have a lot of clothes to go through.

This might take awhile... 

Tackling the girls' room

Anyone who has heard my testimony knows that I am not usually afraid to tell it like it is. It's important that people know me, my household, and my family are far from perfect. When I come into yours, and give you ideas or help you clean something up, I am not judging you... I have no right to! I say that whatever mess you have, we have already seen it and cleaned it up before, and it was probably in our own house.

Well, if you don't believe me after this post, I don't think I'll ever be able to convince you.

My three girls, ages 17, 11, and 9, share a bedroom. I am constantly telling them to clean it up, pick it up, put laundry in the bathroom, throw away the water bottles, etc. When the bottom bunk of the bunk bed broke a couple of weeks ago, I realized that even if I found a replacement, I couldn't get into their room to change anything out.

If you read regularly, you have no doubt seen my posts about how you can de-clutter anything in 15 minutes a day. I have to say, that doesn't include a child's bedroom if they are still living in it and not picking up after themselves. Today I decided I was fed up the less than enthusiastic efforts of my children, and took it on myself to get them started.

Here are the steps I have taken so far to move us forward in this process...

1. I took pictures of everything.

2. I started bagging things up while they were gone today.
 
     *All stuffed animals and pillows in garbage bags.
       EVEN FAVORITES (Motivation for later.)
     *Anything else washable from the floor into totes and garbage bags.
       ESPECIALLY FAVORITES (Motivation for later.)
     *Books, movies, etc. went into boxes.
     *Shoes went into a box

3. I didn't pick up any trash.

4. As I worked, I swept everything to the center of the room. EVERYTHING. And I stacked the stuff that had been bagged and boxed (all will be gone through one at a time.)

5. I worked until I was tired and had other things to do.   
     Then I wrote this note for when they came home.

I also added that they were not allowed to put anything "away" ... because all of the "aways" still needed to be cleaned out as well.

Next step: To have them clean off their dressers and bookshelves so there is a place to put whatever they decide to keep.


This is honestly a risky blog post to put out on my business blog... I mean, what if we don't get it done? What if it turns out that I'm too busy or too exhausted to stay on them and three months from now my 17yr old is still sleeping on her mattress on the floor because I didn't stick to this or make them stick to it either!?!

Well, that will be just another reminder that I am human as well. Hopefully, though, instead of that, over the next week I will be able to show you that even though sometimes things get out of control at my house too, it is possible to take back control.

When I said I "other things to do" and stopped cleaning and wrote that note... I didn't just mean writing this blog post...

Today I'm going to take down the Christmas tree.

Come...

I shared this elsewhere, as I do a lot of my personal writing. But I keep feeling like it needs to be shared here as well. If you are reading my blog, you probably know my story. I am pretty open and honest about the fact that I am still in the process of growing and changing, working to become more like the woman God created me to be. 

It's all a process. Everyone has room for improvement. Everyone is on their own journey. I just happen to be more open than most when it comes to sharing my journey to become that woman...

God made me a pretty smart girl.

I have some good ideas from time to time.

If a good idea in a willing servant is God-inspired,

there is very little that can keep it from becoming reality.

As much as I try to be a willing servant

so many "good ideas" have fallen apart for me 

when I tried to take action on them.

Even the ones that I thought would bring Him

the glory He wants and so richly deserves. 

Don't You see that I am trying to do something amazing here?

When people see it, they will give You the glory!

This will prove to so many that it only takes

faith to move mountains. 

Then it doesn't work out, and I am heartbroken.
Tired, depressed, angry, irritated, and unmotivated.
Pray? Why bother? (As if I'm punishing Him.)
Read? I don't feel like it. (As if somehow He will cave to my sulking.)

I'm reading a book, The Extravagant Fool by Kevin Adams. Here is an incident he related in this book between him and his daughter that floored me, probably much like it did Kevin when it happened...

At age four she came bouncing from the bathroom, dripping wet with tears in her eyes, to ask, “Daddy, didn't you say that anything is possible with God if you just believe hard enough?”

“Sure, sweet girl. Absolutely.”

“Well, Daddy . . . I’ve just come from the bathtub, and it was filled up to the top.”

“Uh-huh.” I suddenly imagined myself backhanding the floating chairs, toilet seats, and toothbrushes half submerged in Bathroom Lake.

“Daddy?”

“Yes, sweetheart?” I’m now reluctantly reaching for the bathroom door, with her close behind me.

“Well, um . . . I’ve been trying and trying to walk on the water the whole time, and I just can’t do it. I’m really sorry, Daddy. I believed I could do it with God’s help, but I can’t — and I’m really sorry.”

With profound silence, I looked at her curious little face and hoped for a routine word ...

... But all I had to offer this time was a hug — one I couldn’t let go of without a little extra help from above.

Help me, Father. Just one thought that gently brought the next one:

Anything is possible with Me, but not everything is useful to Me. Peter only walked after I said, “Come.” 

“Sweet girl,” I said on the heels of that thought, “it is possible for you to walk on water, but only if it’s something God wants you to do. Did He tell you to walk on the water?”

“No, Daddy, He didn’t. I just wanted to.”

Before I could finish that brilliant thought, though, she was on to the next subject.

It doesn't matter if I have the best intentions or the worst intentions. It doesn't matter if my end goal is selfish or if I want it to work for His glory. If it isn't His will, I will ultimately fail.

I can tell God I want to make a relationship work, I want to write a book,

I want to grow my company into something huge in His name,

I want to bring people to Him with the story He's given me

I want to teach teen moms their self worth and help them

break free from the negative patterns in their lives,

I want to walk on water.

The reason why doesn't matter.

Whether trying to bring glory to my name or His.

None of what "I want" means anything...

If I don't first listen for Him to say "Come..."

And He said, "Come!" And Peter got out of the boat, and walked on the water and came toward Jesus.

~Matthew 14:29

The words don't matter

I do some of my best praying while I'm scrubbing a floor on my hands and knees. Prayer doesn't just make the time go faster, it gives me an even more precise sense of purpose for the task at hand. I'm not just scrubbing a floor, I'm asking God to be present, however He is needed, in that home.

I encourage all of my employees to pray for each of the families they serve. My hope is that, if and when they do so, they will be blessed by what happens in their lives as well as the lives of the families they serve.

If I have cleaned your house, I have prayed for you.

One day this week though, my prayers for one client didn't go as usual...

She greeted me with a teary smile. She had a scary newly diagnosed health problem with no answers yet. Just waiting. A little teary myself, I gave her a hug and told her I would be praying for her... and went about my routine.

As I scrubbed the kitchen floor and started praying, I knew I hadn't quite said what I was supposed to. I wasn't supposed to pray for her. She needed someone to pray WITH her. I continued to clean and pray, all the while thinking, maybe I could come up with something else. Surely I can't just come out and ask her if I can pray for her... and do it... right there in the living room. What if she says no? Maybe I'll send her a card... or just give her an extra hug on the way out.

To be honest, I wasn't worried that she would be offended. I knew she wouldn't say no. Which means I would have to pray for her, out loud, where I could be heard, and where she might hear me stumble over my words, misquote a Biblical reference, say the wrong thing, mostly just mess it up...

As I was getting ready to leave she again brought up her fear of what might happen... and I knew I had to.

The prayer wasn't long. I asked for peace and healing for her and knowledge for the doctors and thanked Him for being in control of the situation even when it seems like nobody is. Then I gave her one more hug, and I left for my next house.

I always have two worries when it comes to praying out loud. First of all is the fear that if someone hears me pray they will hear the mistakes and the stumbles and the way my mind works faster than my mouth and how I confuse myself, forgetting to say things I should and repeating things I've already said. The second fear is just that general fear of unworthiness... who am I to be praying for others?

But as I was driving away, a thought occurred to me. The prayer that had just been said in that house had very little to do with my words... it had very little to do with me at all.

God used me to remind her that she is loved and He is in control.

When it comes to prayer, the way the words came out aren't important. The words themselves are not important. The people are important, those who are willing to do as He asks and those they are ministering to. The obedience is important. The love is important. The faith is important.

And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength. The second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.' No other commandment is greater than these.” ~Mark 12:30-31

I ask you again, does God give you the Holy Spirit and work miracles among you because you obey the law? Of course not! It is because you believe the message you heard about Christ. ~Galatians 3:5

~Mark Batterson

Loving Our Kids is Hard Sometimes...

Recently I spoke to my church's mom group, RC WOW, about how loving our kids means disciplining them. I would love to share it with more of you, so I thought I would type it up and post it. Feel free to leave comments.

I will be the first to tell you that I am no expert in the area of child-rearing. I've learned a lot of what I know through trial and error. As you'll read, even those results aren't conclusive. Still, I know how much it can help to know that there are other parents out there, going through the same struggles.

The love that I am talking about here is not the connection most people feel to their babies. It isn't the empathetic tears we get when they cry or the automatic smile we get when they laugh. Love is a verb. Love is something we do for them in spite of what we want to do or what would be easiest for us to do. Love is discipline.

The verse I was given to speak about was Proverbs 31:28. 

"Her children arise up and call her blessed..." 

I have to tell you, I have always believed that if we went back to some of the early manuscripts of Proverbs, we would see that someone left a word out in translation. That word is EVENTUALLY. Because, let face it, if the children arise in the morning and call me blessed, I am in the wrong house! My first clue isn't even the blessed. It says they arise. There is no mention of dragging them out of bed kicking and screaming and whining and moaning.

 I decided to do a little research.

Strong's Concordance defines the Hebrew version of Arise that is used in the this verse means "to be established" or to "take a stand." In other words, when her children grow up, when they become established, they will look back on their mom and call her blessed.

So let me start off by saying, YES our goal is for them to call us blessed... eventually. To get there we need to love them... and part of the way we do this is through our discipline.

Proverbs 13:24 (NLT) says, "Those who spare the rod of discipline hate their children. Those who love their children care enough to discipline them."

What love means is different for every child. Raising them to grow into the people God wants them to be takes a lot of tough love, but "tough" is different for each child. It is rarely easy.

By the time I got to child number four, I had the trip through the grocery store without whining down. Every child had thrown fits at some point. Every child had been dealt with the same way. When they started to throw a crying fit in the store, I told them they couldn't act like that with me. I then left them standing there and walked away.  

I would get no more than 20 feet before the howling had turned into sniffles and they were walking with me again through the store. They were not only scared to be without me, but also not happy about the looks they were getting from strangers.

Not number four. Lauren and I were walking through Hy-Vee when she was three or four and she started throwing a fit. I tried to use the same strategy I had used with the others. I was about fifteen feet away when I turned around and saw her, flanked by three strangers who were asking her if she was okay and glaring at me. One of them attempted to buy her candy! Lauren was not only, not afraid of strangers, but she was instantly thriving on the attention.

I'd love to say this was an isolated incident, but it has happened again and again… even as recently as last summer. Strangers are drawn to my youngest when she cries. 

One day last summer I did something rare and took all of the kids inside a fast food restaurant. They all started arguing, so I told everyone to get back in the van before an order had even been placed. They were shocked. 

Lauren started sobbing on the way out the door and a woman coming in squatted down to Lauren's level and started trying to get her to stop. Then Lauren managed to get out that I wasn't letting them have any food. That's when I got that look that I have come to know so well. The other kids were mortified that I was making them leave the restaurant without ordering. and even more embarrassed that I told a stranger on the way out the door. Lauren was soaking in the attention.

What would have been the easiest thing to do in the Wendy's situation? I could have just gone ahead and ordered and glared at them all through dinner. Disapproval will honestly affect one of my four. The other three would have been un-phased. Lauren, obviously needs to be disciplined in a way that does not garner her any attention from strangers.

Instead we left. They continued to fight in the car about whose fault it was that we left. So, while I showed some grace and went through the drive-thru when they were finally repentant (and frankly, it was my birthday, which is the reason we went out), our evening out was over.

Ecclesiastes 8:11 says, "When the sentence for a crime is not quickly carried out, people’s hearts are filled with schemes to do wrong."

While many people will debate actual punishments and methods for discipline, the Bible shows how God used three main steps when loving His children through discipline.

Loving Our Kids Means.

1. Telling them the rules

2. Telling them the consequences

3. Sticking to those consequences

It's hard. But God gave us this example right in the beginning of the Bible.

He told Adam and Eve that if they ate the fruit from the tree they would die. They did. He didn't say, "I know I told you. Why didn't you listen? Lets have a time-out and then you can come back and try again." He kicked them out of the garden. He immediately made them accept the consequences for what they had done.

My older two children have their own cell phones.  They both got them when they turned 11. They are smartphones, but when they received them we also gave them a long set of rules and consequences that went along with the responsibility of keeping a phone. These include making it clear that they could have to hand over their phone for inspection at any time and that texting history/browsing history would be verified with the phone bill/known usage to make sure things weren't being periodically deleted before we saw them.

Just before my oldest turned 15, her father checked her phone and found some questionable emails from a boy as well as some texts to someone she wasn't supposed to be talking to. He called me and we made a decision. Alexandra immediately lost her phone and internet access indefinitely.

Did I want her to have a phone? Very much so. As a single mom, it was hard on me for her not to have one. We did not have a home phone, and as my babysitter that summer, it was difficult to communicate at times. She also wanted to be involved in school activities, but it means planning way in advance if she needed a ride home or if she would be gone while she was supposed to babysitting for me. Their father uses the phones to stay in touch with the children as well. It was hard to get a hold of them at times. Still, my ex-husband and I stuck to our decision and made her earn it back by showing that she could be respectful and follow the rules. It took 7 months for her to get her phone back. It took several more months for her to earn back her iPhone apps. She didn't have access to an internet browser for almost a year.

Taking the phone away and sticking to it was hard. But we proved that we love her over our own inconveniences.

Your challenge this next week is to 1.) Find the place where setting a boundary for your child is hard for you. Something that it is easier to ignore than to deal with. Something that you have let slide 1000 times, but something that you know will make them a better person if they learn the boundary.

You can’t all of the sudden come down on them with a sledgehammer. But saying “I’m not going to tolerate --- anymore. The next time you do it, this will be the consequence, no matter what.” in ONE new area is fair.

The second part of that challenge is 2.) Pray that God shows you the areas where you need to love your children more in this way, so that they can grow up to be the people He wants them to be. This is not easy. 

Remember that you asked God to show you, but you can't tell Him HOW to show you. So, when your mother-in-law says, "It drives me crazy seeing him get away with that." or your best friend says, "She shouldn't be talking to you like that." don't get angry or frustrated with them. Take it as an answer to your prayer for direction and do something about it!

We do want our children to eventually arise up and call us “blessed” … but sometimes, for today, we have to be okay with growling, grumbling, glaring, and an occasional declaration of "I hate you." If we do what is right, it will all work out in the end.

I had a wonderful lunch today...

Today I met Doris Symonds, a successful businesswoman from Peoria, for lunch. We ate and discussed our pasts and our futures. We came up with some plans for collaboration on a project. She gave me some great advice for expanding Hire A Housewife as well as moving into the next level that God has planned for me personally... public speaking, finishing my book, and so much more...


We had not been sitting long when she said to me something I have heard over and over in the last several weeks from many different places... "You have it in you already."

I have been reading these books... 

ever since I heard from and met the author...

at the Women of Faith conference last month.

Her book is where this picture came from...

So, I can say that I have been a bit hard-headed in the past. I'm sure there have been times when God has done a major face-palm when He's sent me a message that I've wavered about. I've felt the uneasiness in the pit of my stomach when I've made a decision without praying through it first and God has said, "Oh, so you want to do this the hard way... no problem."  But, in this particular case, I am pretty sure that God really is trying to tell me something. Maybe I already have everything in me that I need to do what He has planned...? 

Any thoughts? I'm probably correct on this one, right? Do I need MORE confirmation? lol

Some of you might need to remind me of this though, 

next time I start to worry that I am in over my head!

On a side note, the food at Sazani's Steak and Pasta House on Galena Rd in Peoria is FABULOUS.

I had the Sazani Salad with Salmon and the Minestrone ($6.95 lunch special) and while we were not in a hurry today, I did notice in their menu that they guarantee that your lunch will be on your table in 15 minutes or they will pay for your entree.

In case you don't want to take my word for it, you can also find a review here. I will definitely be going back!

I am in my 40...

No, I'm not in my 40's... lol. I have several years before that! This is a different 40.

Ever since I heard a sermon about Jesus' temptation during his 40 days of fasting, I have been thinking about how I am in my 40...

Jesus fasted for 40 days, the Hebrews wandered the desert for 40 years, Noah's family watched it rain for 40 days... Each case was something that was for a reason and, in the end, brought growth to those who experienced it.

This morning I woke up to a devotional in my email that brought me tears.

41 will come.

Jesus' fasting and temptation ended on day 41. Goliath was struck down by David on day 41. The rain stopped falling on the Ark on day 41. The Hebrews entered the promised land in year 41...

I am spending my 40 being faithful. I am spending my 40 learning from my mistakes. I am spending my 40 becoming a better person... the person God intended to me to be. I have been patient. Much like the Hebrews, I know I not only earned my 40 through my own choices... but I need it to strengthen me. I have been rejoicing in my sufferings... thanking God for the thorn in my flesh... because I know that in my weaknesses He is shown to be strong...

But reading this morning... that assurance that it won't last forever... the "you're doing a good job, but don't get discouraged... there is a light a the end of this tunnel" just melted me. I don't know any other way to describe it.

I've been so focused on what I am supposed to learn in my 40. That journey is rough... sometimes exhausting... but I keep going because I know it is what I have to do. Don't misunderstand... God is still doing amazing things for my family and me... but we are still waiting for so many things.

In the midst of all of that... I totally forgot 41 is coming.

I am so excited to hear this sermon series and read the book that is coming from it...

If you live in the area, I encourage you to come check it out..

Most of all, I want to encourage you today the way I was encouraged... YOUR 41 WILL COME TOO!

Listening to God is Difficult

It's funny how we can believe we have heard God's clear and present voice in something... and still have it not work out. You can have the verses and the feelings and the faith to back it up... and yet nothing comes of it. Just a few weeks ago, that's where I was. I knew that the house that I looked at was ours... yet just a couple of days later is was listed as "Sale Pending." I was stumped.

Friends have given me explainations meant to make me feel better about why God didn't give us that house... maybe God has something better in store for us... or maybe He was just showing us what He will do for us in the future. But the truth is, I am not upset about the house. I am upset that I was so focused on what I wanted that I wasn't listening fully.

I could have just pretended that I never wrote that post. People forget. I could have deleted it altogether so nobody could prove I ever wrote it. But, I know that I am not the only one who makes this kind of mistake. Sharing it with you might encourage you the next time you believe for something that isn't to be or it might make you listen more carefully next time you believe you are hearing God's voice.

Once again and still, I am in a place where I need to be listening to His voice.


A week and a half ago a woman turned left in front of me while I was driving down the road and totaled my van. The fact that nobody was injured was a HUGE blessing. Then, the fact that my van's value and the pay-off were close enough to each other that the place I was buying the van from agreed to just "settle" for the amount the insurance company was sending was another huge blessing.

Here I am though, with two days left in a rental-car before I have to give it back and unsure of what I am going to be able to find for us, worried that I'm not listening... and I've shared in the past where not listening got me before!

On top of this, I am hiring again... something that is wonderful, but scary as well because the wrong employee could cause so many problems.

And... I still need God to find us the right place to live.

Not to mention all of those other smaller daily decisions I have make.

This is going to take A LOT of listening... 
 
The Amplified Bible says: Be careful therefore how you listen. For to him who has [spiritual knowledge] will more be given; and from him who does not have [spiritual knowledge], even what he thinks and guesses and supposes that he has will be taken away. Luke 8:18

This is going to take a lot of CAREFUL listening... not thinking and guessing and supposing.

My prayer tonight is that we all will take time to listen to God this week. Whether He is pointing down a life path, helping us with daily decisions or just simply reminding us how much He loves us. God is so good. He deserves the time it takes to stop and listen, and we all benefit in the process.

I believe that one by one each of these things will be worked out, and worked out for His glory... and when that does happen... I will let you know. :-)

Sharing at Trinity Church in Morton on Sunday

For those of you who haven't made the connection yet, I am the woman that Station Manager Dave Brooks is talking about in the latest WCIC "Things are not business as usual" radio spot. I have told God that if he is going to give me a story, that I will share it... and He is making sure I keep that promise! :-)

I attend Rock Church in East Peoria, but I also volunteer at the Community Harvest Food Pantry in Morton. Community Harvest and Trinity Church have asked me to speak for about 5 minutes this Sunday about Community Harvest and my testimony.

Since most of you will not be there to hear it, I thought I would share with you what I am going to tell them...

My name is Kindall. I am a single mom of four. I could talk to you for hours about how amazing God is… but I only have 5 minutes… so here’s what I want to tell you today!

My children and I used to live in Galesburg, but I began to feel that God's place for us was the Peoria area. I knew that I was supposed to move us here... but instead of waiting for God’s direction; I took the first avenue I saw open. Seven months and one unhealthy relationship later, my four children and I were homeless... living in an RV at a local campground. We were stuck there for nearly six months. My son was 10, and my daughters were 6, 8 and 14.

Shortly after that I started coming to the Community Harvest Food Pantry regularly. I had been once or twice before, but it never meant so much to me as it did after we became homeless. Everyone was so welcoming and friendly. I remember tearing up the first time someone loaded food into my van and telling them that they had no idea what a blessing they were. I also prayed several times with volunteers. When I didn’t, I still wrote my request down so that someone would pray for me during the week.

Trying to find work was difficult. I have my degree in Elementary education, but I had let my license lapse and couldn’t go back to teaching unless I went back to school. Besides that, what school was going to hire a homeless teacher?  Instead I decided that a good start would be to get a part time job doing some housekeeping, and put an ad on Craigslist. In an effort to make my ad different than all of the others, I titled it “Hire A Housewife” and listed off all of the things I could do that your average cleaning lady would not. Cooking, organizing, pet care, event planning… whatever was needed.

The first person to hire me truly took my ad literally. He and his boys didn’t just need the house cleaned. They needed food cooked, decorating taken care of, errands run… everything. I started working at their house five days a week. Over time I built a relationship with this family…

Thanks to some help from some friends and some people who believed in me, we were able to get into an apartment in September of last year.  Shortly after that, I started volunteering at Community Harvest. As much as it touched me to be served through the program, being on the other side of the registration table has touched me more.

I try very hard to make sure that people who come in do not feel like a number. I work on remembering their names. If I see a new haircut or something else that has changed, I comment on it too… because I know what a difference it makes to know that someone sees you as a person.  I have watched miracles take place over and over at Community Harvest. Food nobody expected, a vehicle that was badly needed, most importantly people who come in in pain… physical, emotional, spiritual… and leave with hope and healing.  I love everyone that comes through the doors at Community Harvest… but different circumstances that people have, will always affect volunteers differently.

My heart goes out to the ones who come in and, eyes looking at the ground, tell me they’ve never been here and then start explaining what happened… more than once I have had someone tear up at the registration table and say the words, “I’m sorry… it’s just embarrassing to have to be here.” That’s when I have the opportunity to say, “I understand, but you need to know that this is what we are here for… and if you look at the people who are working here… there are very few of us who haven’t stood in your shoes. Things will get better. In the mean time, we are here for you.” I get to give that peace and encouragement now because Community Harvest gave that to me.

Between my Saturdays at Community Harvest,  I worked a couple of other part time jobs here and there, but when I was working as a “housewife” I was doing something I loved.

When I decided to take on a few more clients, I started a Facebook page… and then a web page, and a blog. As interest picked up, I had a logo designed, filed with the county as a business, and even took a couple of classes through the Small Business Association. 

In the last four months, my business “Hire A Housewife” has gone from working with just two families to needing to hire three women part-time to help me with the workload. .. and while it is work, we are building relationships and bringing JOY into people’s homes every day… and who could ask for a better job than that?

I am here today because I wanted to share with you what God has done for me over the last year and a half and I wanted to tell you how Community Harvest was part of that. Community Harvest is not just about giving hungry people food, just like Hire A Housewife isn’t just about cleaning. In both cases we are building lasting relationships with people who Jesus loves... Whether they already know Him or God is putting us in their paths so that we can show them who He really is… the reach is so much bigger than we can even imagine… and it is all for His glory.

Waiting on God...

Earlier this year I went to a women's conference. Speaker Maureen Gray had a message about giving up control... and I thought, "I know who this message would be good for..."

Let me tell you... ANY TIME you think that about a sermon... you need to be listening more closely. Once I started listening, I heard the speaker talk as though she had been given that message for me.

She talked about how people in the Bible received promises from God and then, in an effort to "help" Him along... they took matters into their own hands. It never ended well...

Take Sarah and Abraham for example...

God promised Abraham that he would be a father. But he was old. He knew Sarah was old too. Sarah took matters into her own hands and gave him a servant to have a child with. Sarah eventually gave birth to Abraham's child as well. We all know how the descendants of Isaac and Ishmael have fought over which one is the rightful heir to Abraham ever since...


What about Judas?

Judas didn't hate Jesus. He didn't sell Jesus out because he wanted to get rid of Jesus... Judas KNEW that Jesus was the Messiah and he wanted everyone else to believe too! He thought Jesus would avoid the arrest to prove to everyone who He was... bring His kingdom to Earth. You can imagine why his life ended the way it did... believing that he had betrayed Jesus instead of proving who He is.

There are so many other examples in the Bible where people received the promises of God and tried to "help" that promise come to life. Have you ever done this? I know I have... and it never turned out right. 

I used to live in Galesburg, but I didn't want to stay there forever. I knew that God's place for me was the Peoria area. I knew that I was supposed to pick up my family and move here... but instead of waiting for direction, I took the first avenue I saw open. Seven months after that, my four children and I were homeless... living in an RV at a local campground. We were stuck there for nearly six months. Why? Because I didn't do what I was supposed to do the way I was supposed to do it...

I saw this yesterday...

Ouch. Okay, maybe not "stupid"... but impatient...

The speaker at the conference said something that was a "light bulb moment" for me... She said, "You have to stop putting your faith in the PROMISE and put your faith in the PROMISE MAKER."


What a statement... it is something I've been trying to live by ever since. Knowing God's direction is a priority for me now. I constantly pray that if God doesn't want me to take a path, He closes the door... and that if He opens wide the doors to the paths that HE does want me to take.


I have been praying for a new place to live for quite awhile. Our current apartment is in disrepair and unsafe on so many levels. I knew God had a better place for us than this. I kept my eyes and ears open for all possibilities... and I would read about places that were available, but I never went beyond that. Then last week I felt a nudge to go look at a house. So I did.

It is perfect for us. As I walked through it and was surprised time and time again by something else I saw, God said, "See? I know what you need..." The price is amazing. The location is wonderful. There is so much room!  

I have a feeling that the realtor is even annoyed that he took the time to show me the house since there is no way I would qualify for a loan on it at this point. He probably thinks I'm crazy. When he asked about price range and number of bedrooms I am looking for, I told him, "No, you don't understand. THIS is my house. I don't want to look at any others." I even told him that I have been praying about this house. I didn't really get a response to that other than a blank look.

On one hand I have told myself that I should be quiet about this. I should try to find ways to figure out how to buy the house without making a big deal about it... you know... just in case I'm wrong and it doesn't work out to be mine.

On the other hand, I really feel like I need to share it with people. I want others to have no doubt WHO is responsible when it works out. 

In the mean time... do I hit every bank and call every relative in the mid-west to see if they can help? I already emailed a man who deals with investments in real estate and offered to pay a ridiculous APR on the house (knowing I'll be considered credit-worthy within a year) if anyone is willing to invest... but I knew after I sent it that it was not likely the way God was planning on taking care of this for us.

God is asking me to wait. God is telling me not to worry that someone else will swoop in and buy it out from under me. God is saying, "Did I promise this to you? Do I EVER break my promises?"

This is the thing I am waiting on right now.

What is that GOD is asking you to wait for? What promises has HE made you that you can't see right now? Feel free to ask for prayers about it in the comments below.

I'm letting you know that I am standing here in faith with you. Whatever it is. Don't try to help HIM. Don't put your faith in the promise. Put your faith in the PROMISE MAKER and stand back and watch...

SOMETHING AMAZING IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN.

Stealing the Show...

Two of my girls and I went to Winter Jam this year to see performances by Toby Mac and Matthew West, among others. Toby talked about his new song "Steal My Show" and how his son was confused about what it meant and why any artist would want his show stolen...

The song itself is specifically about Toby Mac and going on stage and how people don't come to see him... they come to feel God's presence. He tells God...

 "If you want to steal my show,

I'll sit back and watch you go.

If you've got something to say 

Go on and take it away.

Need you to steal my show 

Can't wait to watch you go-oh-oh-oh 

So come on and take it away!*" 

Toby Mac even says I need you to steal my show, Can't wait to watch you go... He knows that without God, he nothing...

As I met with some mentors from the Small Business Association last week, they asked me a lot of questions. I went in looking for advice on how make sure that I run this business in a legal and responsible manner... and they were very helpful. But one of the questions I was asked was about goals. 

"How much money do you want to make? How much is too much? Is there such a thing?"

And my first thought was, "Money? Like, a specific number? What does that have to do with anything?" When I didn't have a good answer, the mentor told me it was something to think about, so that I could set goals. 

I have been thinking about it, and it's funny. I figured out why I was baffled by that question. 

Sure, I would like enough personal income to get a used van that isn't falling apart. I would like to live in a place where I feel safe and where everyone has a bedroom (even if they have to share)... maybe even buy a house again someday. I would like to pay bills without worrying that a check is going to bounce before the next deposit makes it in the account... But however the business works out... I know that God will provide for my family and me.

So, what are my goals for this business? I want to help individuals and families. I want this business to be known as one that brings JOY with us when we come. I want every part of this to be done as if it were for Him. I want His glory to shine through everything else...

I want Him to steal my show...




*Steal My Show, By Toby Mac can be found on his album "Eye On It" and is often played on 91.5 WCIC FM... Family Friendly Radio

Looking for a Job? Simple Mistakes Every Job Seeker Can Avoid

I'm not currently hiring, but I am always on the lookout for possible future employees... and like any good housewife I have an opinion of some sort on just about everything... :-)

I have seen so many mistakes made while people are inquiring about possibly working with Hire A Housewife. I can only assume that these mistakes are made while inquiring with other companies as well.

Pass this on to anyone you know who is looking for a job. Tiny mistakes can really cost a job seeker.

Who needs a job?

       If you are contacting me to see if I am willing to hire your husband, wife, son, daughter, cousin, uncle or grandma, consider this first... If I am going to let this person operate under my company name, go into people's homes and work with clients unsupervised, then wouldn't I want someone who is responsible enough to contact me and apply for the position on their own?

       On the flip side of this, if you are looking for a job, make sure you tell your friends and relatives not to talk to an employer about you until after you have applied (assuming you write them down as a reference.)

Have you used spell check?

       Consider every interaction you have with a possible future employer part of the interview. Misspelled or mis-formatted emails asking for information are not likely going to get the response that you desire. If a possible employee doesn't care enough to check their spelling and language usage, it is hard for an employer to imagine that they will care enough about the company to do the job well.

Have you followed directions?

       If the job posting says "No phone calls, please." or "Do not post on the company's Facebook wall." the person who posted the job made that request for a reason.

Are you clear about what you want?

       Earlier this week my phone rang. The person on the other end of the line said, "I need to know more about Hire A Housewife." After trying to figure out what she needed to know to no avail, I launched into my best sales pitch.When I was done she said she wanted to know about it "from the other side." and when I asked for more clarification, she said, "not to be a customer, I want to work for you."

       If she had been clear from the beginning of the call, or even if she had sent a well-worded email, I would have given her all of the information she needed within a few seconds. Instead she wasted my time and hers and I'm sure she was likely as frustrated at the end of the call as I was.

And last but not least... have you checked your settings?

 

^^^ Because, yeah... that happens. ^^^

I have learned the hard way that I can't explain to people what exactly they did to knock themselves out of the running for a job with Hire A Housewife. I am very sure that many of the people who I ruled out were just having a bad day or had something else going on. I understand! I'm hoping though, that by writing this, I can save a few of you some heartache during your job search.

P.S. One more important thing... Don't be late for the interview!

Let all that you do, be done in love... 1 Corinthians 16:14

God Uses the Strangest Things...

This morning, as I was rushing around getting ready to head to volunteer at the Community Harvest Food Pantry in Morton, I realized that my deep freeze had been unplugged for an unknown amount of time.

The stuff I reached in to touch was obviously already thawed. With no time to do anything this morning, I decided that when I got home this afternoon I would have to cook everything salvageable. Sounds like a lot of fun, right?

I desperately wanted to take a nap when I got home, but instead I trudged over to the freezer with a handful of garbage bags and a very little bit of hope, and started pulling things out.

Peeps from 2 Easters ago.... trash.
Broken open bag of rolls... trash.
Homemade lasagna... to the oven.
Homemade baked spaghetti... to the oven.
Uncooked Chicken strips... to the oven.
Chinese dinner in a bag... to the stove top.
Thawed steak stamped June 2011... trash.
Ice cream sandwiches (now soup)... trash.

Then I got to the box of deer meat. My heart hurt a little bit... I did not want that all to go to waste! I was not looking forward to browning 15 pounds of ground deer... I didn't even realize I had that much left! Amazingly, the deer meat wasn't thawed. I checked out the things under it including a turkey and a few other things are found that the bulk of the actual meat in my deep freeze was still frozen solid. Praise the Lord!

That's when I noticed something else. The inside of my freezer was gross. Some things had obviously been spilled and refrozen in the past. Other things were frozen into a 3inch sheet of ice on the bottom... like the container of pureed pumpkin that I remember putting in that freezer in October of 2011... (trash.)

I decided that even though it wasn't going to be fun, I had better go ahead and clean out the deep freeze. Some of the rolls from that broken bag had rolled to the bottom and were soaking up water. There was a no-longer-frozen pumpkin pie leaking into the mess as well. It was all kind of disgusting!

I think God can use things like this to teach us lessons. Especially those of us who are constantly on the run. You know who you are... how often do you stop to pray or read from a devotional or your Bible and fall asleep before you are done? When my kids were 1, 3, 5 and 9 I used fall asleep in church EVERY Sunday... because it was the only time where I had no choice but to sit still and stay quiet!


So as I'm cleaning out my freezer I hear myself say, "This freezer is a metaphor for my life!" I laugh at myself... but then I start to dissect it... I love it when I have a "Wow God" moment while I'm doing something I don't want to do! So here it is... and I think I'm sharing this because it is true for you too...

Now, I wouldn't have even looked in that freezer this weekend if it hadn't come unplugged... in the same way, I have a habit of neglecting something in my life or an area of my life until it is brought to the forefront for some reason. If I am willing to put in the work, God shows me what is worth saving and what to let go. It is a lot of hard work... it doesn't matter if you are cleaning your freezer or your friendships! But in the end that area of my life becomes more calm, more clean and organized, and not only contains good things I forgot I had... but now has room for more good things that God has in store for me.

This is one of the reasons I CHOOSE JOY... because even when the lesson is hard, even when the work is messy, even when I think I'd rather just quit... I KNOW that God has something SO MUCH BETTER in store for me... 

Just think about it...  What parts of your life would God love to make better for you, if you would only give it over to Him and commit to doing the work necessary?



ISAIAH 55:8-13

⁸ For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
    neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.
⁹ For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
    so are my ways higher than your ways
    and my thoughts than your thoughts.

¹⁰ “For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven
    and do not return there but water the earth,
making it bring forth and sprout,
    giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater,
¹¹ so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth;
    it shall not return to me empty,
but it shall accomplish that which I purpose,
    and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.

¹² “For you shall go out in joy
    and be led forth in peace;
the mountains and the hills before you
    shall break forth into singing,
    and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands.
¹³ Instead of the thorn shall come up the cypress;
    instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle;
and it shall make a name for the Lord,
    an everlasting sign that shall not be cut off.”


PS I took a picture of the inside of the freezer before I cleaned it... I'm not posting it. You're welcome. :-)